Jabberwocky's Cousin

Beware the counterfactual hypothetical
The jaws that bite, the teeth that snatch;
Beware the jub-jub bird, and shun
The frumious bandersnatch.

The counterfactual hypothetical
That cousin to the Jabberwock--
That knits a daisy chain of Ifs
That trap you fast, after it stalks.

It lies in wait;
It casts its net.
It won't let you remember
It won't let you forget.

So grab your vorpal blade, my son!
Follow its trail, and stalk
The counterfactual hypothetical,
That cousin to the Jabberwock.

Yes, grab that vorpal blade, my son,
And let thy blade go snicker-snack!
Cut off its head, and with it dead,
You'll come galumphing back.

Callooh! Callay! O frabjous day!
We'll chortle in our joy.
The counterfactual hypothetical
Can only be killed by means
Equally fantastic
And purely theoretical.

What If, If Only, Might Have Been--
Slay rhetorical nonsense
With nonsense equally rhetorical;
Slay the soul-killing guilt trip
By that sword hyperborical.

Oh vorpal blade, what happy day
Awaits your snicker-snackery!
Although Jabberwocky's Cousin,
He's quite the nut to crack
But that vorpal blade is surely going snicker-snack.
This I promise and I will not take back.

If only, if only, if only--
Then I wouldn't be sad.
Then I wouldn't be lonely.
Does this make me not sad?
Does this make me not lonely?

No! It does not.
It is with its own web
That it's got to be caught
Then you can break its back
And that vorpal blade can go snicker-snack.

written 4/15/2010

the text of my inspiration, Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky"